A Lazy Apple Pie

I want apple pie...NOW.

That was my thought process when I was figuring out what to make for dinner tonight (chicken and dumplings), and to be honest, apple pie isn't one of those dishes you can throw together quickly. That's why they invented yogurt that tastes like apple pie. And gum. Or you can just go buy one already made, or frozen, at the store. I didn't have any of those on hand, and it's too cold to go to the store. First world problems.

Lame.

So I had to make an apple pie.

This recipe has been floating around in my inbox of "Recipes to Make When You Have Other People to Eat It So You Aren't a Fatty," so I pulled it out. Apparently a grandma came up with it, which automatically means that it's delicious and wonderful and makes you miss your grandma.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Pre-made, refrigerated pie crusts? We're doing LAZY APPLE PIE today, folks. No time to make a crust. Forget making a crust. Don't judge me. Also, no judging the organization that is the Tupperware Baking Containers. They're amazing.

So we've got unsalted butter, our Lazy Person pie crusts, 8 Granny Smith apples, white sugar, brown sugar, and all-purpose flour. Bam.

Slap that first pie crust in your 9-inch baking dish. Make sure you're pressing the bottom and the sides flat so it'll bake nice and fatty for you. Mmmm.


Here's the worst part, other than making the pie crust, which we have just lazily avoided: peeling, coring, and slicing all those apples. UGH. I have it on good authority from some 5th graders that they now sell peeled and sliced apples in bags at the grocery store yet, but that is unconfirmed. For now, suck it up and peel your apples.








Now, the generally agreed-upon recipes for apple pie include this formula:

Apples+other delicious crap+pastry shell=APPLE PIE.

Above is the delicious crap. After melting a stick of butter and making a paste with some flour, add in all your sugars until it is boiling, then bring the temperature down and simmer while you assemble the pie itself. 

Hey look, that was super easy. Now put your apples into the pie crust.

Don't be mad at me when I lattice the top. It's just nicer like that. You can always take that second pie crust, plop it on top (after you add the sauce mixture), seal the edges, and put some holes at the top, but I have to say, it's not as pretty that way. Plus, it makes it harder to tell the done-ness of the apples, which I do by stabbing them repeatedly with a fork, second-guessing myself, and putting it back in the oven for 5 minutes.

It's actually really easy to lattice a pie. If you don't know how to do it, here is a great tutorial. No big deal, right? If I can do it, you can do it.

Now that you have your pretty latticed pie, take that simmering caramel mixture and pour it all over the top of the crust. As a reminder, this only works with a latticed crust...the caramel can't somehow absorb through the crust and into the pie, and will slide off and create a disaster. If you're opting not to lattice, make sure to do this step BEFORE putting the hat on that bad boy. Pour the mixture slowly and evenly in the holes and all over top, making sure it won't overflow down the side of your pan. That will happen, and that will suck. The great part about this method though is that the top gets nice and crispy and brown from the sugar. Woohoo!

Pop that bad boy in a 425 degree oven, let it brown for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to 350 and leave it be for 35-45 mins. That's it! Super easy.

Now let me tell you, guys...this tastes just as good as it looks. Warm, gooey, tart...all the great things a pie should be. Even if it's a lazy apple pie, who's going to care?

Grandma Ople's Apple Pie Recipe

courtesy of Allrecipes, slightly modified by me

Ingredients

• 1 box Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 8 Granny Smith apples - peeled, cored and sliced

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Melt the butter in a saucepan. Stir in flour to form a paste. Add water, white sugar and brown sugar, and bring to a boil. Reduce temperature and let simmer.
2. Place the bottom crust in your pan. Fill with apples, mounded slightly. Cover with a lattice work crust. Gently pour the sugar and butter liquid over the crust. Pour slowly so that it does not run off.
3. Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Continue baking for 35 to 45 minutes, until apples are soft.